Today was a good day. Today I started my 2-year-old.
Why am I sharing this with you? Well, in my “real life” (aka not on the internet), I’ve had several people tell me that I was an example to them. An inspiration, if you will. And not to toot my own horn, but that’s a pretty huge compliment.
The funny thing is, I like to operate from the assumption that I’m pretty average. I’m just another mid-thirties woman with a bunch of kids, a husband, limited time, and a love for horses. I don’t think there’s something about me that makes me “special” or “better” than somebody else.
So those comments surprised me.
I’m willing to embarrass myself
Okay, maybe there is one thing that makes me at least potentially different:
I’m willing to embarrass myself. Publicly. Repeatedly.
As a matter of fact, I seek out challenges—aka opportunities for embarrassment. I fall on my face, and I get back up again. Over and over.
And I believe in myself.
That doesn’t mean I think I’ll get everything right on the first try. I usually don’t. But damned if I’m not bull-headed and persistent. I’m willing to keep learning, keep trying, and keep going when something doesn’t work the first time.
Confidence isn’t knowing you’ll get it right the first time. It’s believing you can keep going until you figure it out.
Confidence came from doing things anyway
Growing up, my dad always hauled. Then, as an adult, I got the truck and trailer and taught myself how to drive the darn thing.
Now I can back 200 tons of hay on a flatbed in the dark between the house and the shed with a jackknife turn and two inches to spare.
Not because I magically knew how to do it. Because I believed I could learn and put in the work.
The same thing happened with my horses.
I took my horse to shows. Sometimes I failed spectacularly, and sometimes I won spectacularly. Either way, I did it. I wasn’t afraid of the process because I knew “failure” was never the end.
I took myself and my horse on crazy mountain adventures and had the time of my life.
And now, I’ve started my own horse.
I’m not the yahoo I was a decade ago. I do the groundwork. I do the prep. By the time it comes to swing a leg over the saddle, it’s rather anticlimactic—as it should be and exactly how I prefer it.
Could I send my horse out for full-time training? Absolutely. But I’m a weirdo who happens to love the babies, the training, and the whole process. And selfishly, I love being able to say that I put that first ride on my horse.
What would you do if you believed you could figure it out?
This is really the reason I wanted to share this story.
There’s probably something in your riding life that you don’t quite believe you can do yet.
Maybe you want to:
- Haul out by yourself.
- Trailer to a show even when your barn isn’t going.
- Take your horse on that trail ride you keep talking about.
- Enter a bigger class.
- Start your own colt because it’s always been on your bucket list.
Whatever your version is, you don’t have to feel completely confident before you begin.
Start with the baby steps. Learn what you need to learn. Get the right help when you need it. Put in the work. Let yourself be a beginner at something.
And be willing to look a little ridiculous while you figure it out.
That’s how you build capability. And every time you prove to yourself that you can handle something new, you give yourself another reason to trust yourself the next time.
Stop letting “you can’t” make your decisions
I’ve had friends tell me that I inspired them, but it wasn’t because I was doing anything I considered extraordinary. I was just living my life, having fun with my horses, and being willing to try things.
That’s what I hope you take from this too.
There are enough horse trainers and fellow riders out there full of doom and gloom and you can’t do it.
I’m sick of it.
You don’t have to let somebody else’s fear decide what you’re capable of.
Be smart. Prepare. Learn. Take the baby steps you need to take.
But be empowered. Ride your damn horse. And don’t let anyone stop you from living your life.
Ready to start believing in what you’re capable of?
Confidence doesn’t always come before you do the scary thing. Sometimes you build it by taking the next step, showing yourself what you’re capable of, and then doing it again.
If self-doubt keeps making you hesitate, overthink, or question whether you’re ready, 5 Days to Confident Competitor can help you start strengthening the mental side of your riding.
Over five days, you’ll learn practical mental tools to help you trust yourself, work through the thoughts that hold you back, and show up with more confidence when it matters.
👉 Join 5 Days to Confident Competitor and start building the confidence to do the things you’ve been telling yourself you can’t.
Happy Trails,
Nicole Burnett
Mental Coach & Founder, Resilient Reiner
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Nicole Burnett is a mental performance coach for western riders who want their mindset to match their skill, their horse, and their goals.
Through practical mindset coaching and nervous system training, Nicole helps riders stay steady, communicate more clearly, and ride more effectively — whether they’re rebuilding confidence at home, sharpening their show-pen mindset, or preparing to compete on the national stage.
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