He leaned back, arms crossed, and finally said it out loud.
“Nicole, I want more. I want the buckle, the big runs, the shiny stuff that proves I did it. But honestly? It feels so far away I don’t even know what to do right now.”
I nodded, because I’ve heard this before.
And truthfully?
I’ve felt it myself.
That ache of wanting something big, but looking at the gap between here and there and feeling like you’re standing at the bottom of a canyon staring up at a cliff face. And sometimes, you can want something so much, but it’s so far away, that you find yourself feeling surprisingly less motivated to ride.
And that’s where so many riders get stuck.
They think learning how to stay motivated to ride means finding a bigger goal, a bigger dream, or a shinier reason to keep going.
But most of the time, motivation does not come from staring harder at the buckle.
It comes from finding purpose in the work right in front of you.
So I asked him,
“When you picture the win—the buckle, the title, the shiny end result—how does it make you feel?”
He rubbed the back of his neck.
“Fired up… but heavy. Like, dang, that’s a long way off. It almost feels impossible.”
And here’s the part we don’t usually admit out loud…
Those shiny things?
They aren’t actually as motivating as we want them to be.
They glitter.
They sparkle.
They look amazing on Instagram.
But when you’re exhausted…
When your horse is cranky…
When your body is sore…
When you’ve had three bad rides in a row…
A buckle doesn’t get you out of bed.
It’s not enough.
The motivation trap
I asked him,
“Okay… then what does keep you going?”
He shrugged.
“I don’t know. I guess I thought wanting the end result would be enough.”
“But what if it’s not supposed to be?” I asked.
“What if the only thing that gets you through the grind is learning to love the grind?”
He shook his head.
“But that doesn’t sound very motivating. I don’t love circles. I don’t love stopping and starting. I don’t love doing the same drills.”
I leaned in.
“Right. Nobody loves every circle.”
“Nobody loves every drill.”
“But what if the love isn’t for the drill itself?”
“What if it’s for what the drill is building in you?”
Your focus.
Your feel.
Your timing.
Your connection with your horse.
He went quiet for a long moment.
Because that’s the truth.
The titles.
The buckles.
The shiny stuff.
They might get you started.
But they won’t keep you going.
The only thing that does is falling in love with the process.
Not because it’s easy.
But because it’s where you actually become the rider who earns the results.
Have you forgotten the ride?
So let me ask you the same question I asked him.
Are you chasing the result so hard that you’ve forgotten the ride?
What would shift, if, instead of fixating on how far away your goal feels…
you learned to enjoy today’s reps?
Today’s ride.
Today’s connection with your horse.
Because the end result?
That’s just the byproduct.
The process is where you actually live.
What if you don’t love the process yet?
That’s okay.
Most riders don’t wake up motivated to ride every. single. day.
Nobody wakes up excited to school circles.
Nobody loves every practice ride.
Nobody enjoys every frustrating training session.
What matters isn’t pretending every ride is magical.
It’s learning how to keep showing up anyway.
It’s learning how to stay steady under pressure.
It’s learning how to trust yourself when progress feels slower than you’d hoped.
Because that’s the work that eventually creates the results everyone else gets to celebrate.
If you’re struggling to enjoy the process because every ride feels like a test you have to pass…
you’re not alone.
That’s exactly why I created 5 Days to Confident Competitor.
Inside, I’ll help you quiet the mental pressure, calm your nervous system, and build confidence that doesn’t disappear the moment things get hard.
Because confidence isn’t something you magically earn after you win.
It’s something you build one ride at a time.
If you’re ready to stop waiting until you feel confident and start training your mind the same way you train your horse, I’d love to have you inside.
Happy Trails,
Nicole
Read Next
What to Do If Your Confidence Drops Mid-Pattern
Read This Before You Hire a Mindset Coach for Riders With Horse Show Nerves
If pressure, overthinking, or show nerves have been getting in the way of your best rides, 5 Days to Confident Competitor is a simple place to start.
This five-day training helps you understand what happens in your brain and body when the pressure rises, so you can begin building tools to steady yourself, communicate more clearly with your horse, and ride with more confidence.
Start Building Show-Pen Confidence
I'm ready to stop show nerves →
Your horse feels what you bring into the saddle.
When pressure hits, your body, timing, focus, and confidence all affect the ride your horse gets.
Nicole Burnett is a mental performance coach for western riders who want their mindset to match their skill, their horse, and their goals.
Through practical mindset coaching and nervous system training, Nicole helps riders stay steady, communicate more clearly, and ride more effectively — whether they’re rebuilding confidence at home, sharpening their show-pen mindset, or preparing to compete on the national stage.
Work With Nicole
Explore ways to work with Nicole →
