Oh, if I had a nickel for every time someone told me they wished they could stop caring what other people think at horse shows.
I’ve heard it from pros. I’ve heard it from non-pros. And I’ve heard it from plenty of riders who know they ride better when they’re not mentally performing for everyone outside the pen.
Here’s what I tell my clients when they want to get out of their head, focus on their ride, and protect their confidence.
The real reason other people’s opinions get in your head
Let’s get one thing straight:
Other people’s opinions don’t actually cause your nerves.
Your thoughts about their opinions do.
That’s really good news.
Because while you can’t control what someone else thinks…
You can absolutely control what you think.
Step 1: Figure out whose opinion you’re carrying
Notice whose opinion is hijacking your brain.
Is it your trainer?
The judge?
That rider who always seems to win?
Get specific.
Awareness always comes before change.
You can’t redirect your focus if you don’t know what’s stealing it.
Step 2: Get curious instead of critical
Now ask yourself:
“What am I making their opinion mean about me?”
Usually it’s something like:
“If they think I’m not good enough… maybe I’m not.”
Or…
“If I mess up, they’ll think I don’t belong here.”
Spoiler alert:
Neither of those thoughts are facts.
They’re stories.
And stories can be rewritten.
Step 3: Ride for connection, not approval
Instead of riding for applause…
Ride for your horse.
One of my favorite reminders is:
“I ride for my horse—not for their applause.”
Because when you stop chasing validation, something shifts.
You breathe.
You soften.
You stay present.
Your horse feels it.
And that’s usually when your best rides happen.
Your challenge this week
The next time you catch yourself worrying about what someone else thinks…
Pause.
Ask yourself:
“Whose opinion am I carrying right now?”
Then gently bring your attention back where it belongs:
To your horse.
To your breath.
To the ride you’re here to have.
Because confidence grows where your focus goes.
Ready to stop letting other people ride in your head?
If worrying about what everyone else thinks is stealing your confidence before you even lope into the pen, I’d love to help.
Inside 5 Days to Confident Competitor, you’ll learn how to:
✔️ Stop performing for approval.
✔️ Stay focused under pressure.
✔️ Calm your nerves before every ride.
✔️ Build confidence that comes from within—not from someone else’s opinion.
Because the rider who wins the mental game almost always rides better, too.
👉 Join 5 Days to Confident Competitor today.
Train Your Mind → Ride With Confidence
To your success,
Nicole
Read Next
If pressure, overthinking, or show nerves have been getting in the way of your best rides, 5 Days to Confident Competitor is a simple place to start.
This five-day training helps you understand what happens in your brain and body when the pressure rises, so you can begin building tools to steady yourself, communicate more clearly with your horse, and ride with more confidence.
Start Building Show-Pen Confidence
I'm ready to stop show nerves →
Your horse feels what you bring into the saddle.
When pressure hits, your body, timing, focus, and confidence all affect the ride your horse gets.
Nicole Burnett is a mental performance coach for western riders who want their mindset to match their skill, their horse, and their goals.
Through practical mindset coaching and nervous system training, Nicole helps riders stay steady, communicate more clearly, and ride more effectively — whether they’re rebuilding confidence at home, sharpening their show-pen mindset, or preparing to compete on the national stage.
Work With Nicole
Explore ways to work with Nicole →
